our first day back in Massachusetts...

The trip to Boston was smooth. 

We have good traveling babies, but that's not to say five and a half hours of bouncing and exchanging children doesn't get tiresome. It does. But I have the silliest husband who pulls the weight when it comes to caring for our kids. He would rather be the one Nathan sleeps on. It's something I will never take for granted. So, as I'm trying to snap a photo of the beautiful sunset that we're flying across, I turned my phone on and the camera was reversed, facing me. Anyone who has an iPhone knows the attractive angle that is. I laughed at seeing myself at that angle and then saw Brad with this crazy face on. I just think its hilarious. One, that he made this face, and two, that he left it on until I saw it! 

So grateful for his patience and humor on that flight. I know I've said this before, but I won the lottery when it comes to right husband for me. 

 When Nathan wasn't sleeping he was doing this. As usual. Smiliest baby I've ever known!

 And after a movie and some snacks this little one snoozed for a good hour or more.

 And I finally got the shot I originally turned my phone on to get....so pretty to see things from above.

We arrived in Boston very late (east coast time). We weren't in bed until 3am- my mom is always up for talking until the wee hours of the morning. we've been having "bathroom talks" since I was in high school late night after I'd come home from being out with friends. On this night we graduated to sitting in my old bedroom on the floor, as there is no furniture left in it . She showed me the Little House series she'd saved for me to pack up and bring back to California with me. Time to read them to my girls. I can barely believe it. 

When we woke in the late morning and stepped outside, the first comment out of Brad's mouth was "it feels like a jungle". I laughed and agreed. It was so green--SO green! Just beautiful, but it sure did feel like we were in the amazon rain forest. Well, I've never been there, but I imagine that may be what it feels like :) It was HOT, and humidity was at 100%. Welcome to summers on the east coast. :)!

We spent most of the day in the air conditioned rooms. Nathan showed off his rolling over and beginning solid food skills for Nana and Poppi and they loved him up, while Ava played with all my old toys and skipped around the house & backyard.  Mina came by to greet us with boomies and we took him for a walk, and Nicole and Dave and my new baby niece, Sarah, arrived in the afternoon. Our plans: to have an evening picnic in the backyard with my best friend from 1st grade, Christene, and her family. Here are the photos I took during the day...

I can't tell you the joy I felt to see my sister like this. She has waited for this for so long. 

Everything is going so well for her. Her birth was natural and less than 10 hours, nursing is easy...you can't really ask for more as a new mom. 

She deserves that so much.

Ava knew exactly how to handle a new baby and Sarah seemed to like her too :)

Ava was in auntie heaven! 

UncleDave didn't skip a beat. He came ready to play (and tease) Ava. By the end of our trip Ava was teasing Dave too.

Ava's favorite part of the picnic, or any meal in general...dessert!

 Day 2 we left for the cape and my Dad brought Brad to the game. Here's the photo he sent me. 

They lost, but there's nothing like a game at fenway. As Brad says, they make even a base hit and it feels like you're at a world series game. The crowd it passionate, to say the least. 

Next year I'm going too!

 On to the beach! :)

Grampy.

We arrived home from Massachusetts on Monday morning and I got a call Wednesday that my Grampy is in the hospital. After feeling weak and tired (with occasional stomach pain) for months, and a trip to the cardiologist who told him his heart was fine, he woke in the early hours of the morning Tuesday vomiting. He was admitted to the hospital by 6am and had a CAT scan. They saw a large tumor in his colon completely blocking passage, 2 lesions on his lungs, and one in his liver. He has stage 4 cancer .

There are many options, and it's unclear which will be chosen at this point. 

He could undergo chemotherapy after having the tumor removed.  I'm not sure what he will choose.

My dad is there with my Grammy, visiting Grampy, and getting information from the doctors.

My Grammy is stressed, as anyone could imagine, and I'm completely torn up inside that I didn't get to see them while I was there and that I am so far away again.

Please send him love in whatever form you may pray.

I know we can't change what will happen, but we can send love, and if you think of it in a moment you're peaceful, some extra love going his way can only do good.

thank you. 

 *this photo has been sitting by my bedside for as long as I can remember. Sitting on my Grampy's lap is something I did until only 6 years ago. He always said I was his girlfriend (until I got married) :) As you can see, It's a cozy spot. I just wish I could be there to see him and hug him and tell him that I love him in person. For now, he is in my heart. 

And so it begins....

We knew she liked smothering him with love,

 putting him in her room to watch her play,

stealing his toys,

sneaking into his crib when he wakes from a nap,

 (which he LOVES),

climbing into his crib when she wakes up from a nap,

putting her princesses in his crib so he can "play" with them too, 

doing silly things to him to make him look silly,

(which she thinks is hysterical),

 teaching him the things big kids can do,

 helping change his diaper (while tickling),

And holding him, BUT...

today she dressed him up... in a bonnet! 

Poor Nathan!

I'm sorry buddy. 

This is life with a big sister.

:)

Someone is proud of his accomplishments | milestone: Nathan can roll over!

Our boy! 

Brad was the first to see him intentionally roll over just this past Sunday.

Now he's a total pro. 

Put him on his back and he'll flip immediately onto his tummy and smile. 

We're proud of you Nathan!!

Here is a little glimpse at his 3rd intentional roll over.
Brad witnessed the 1st (I'm so glad), he called me in for the 2nd, and then I realized I needed to document this, so I grabbed my camera for the 3rd roll.


*Please try and ignore my high-pitched mommy enthusiasum--:)!

Happy 6 years.

Today we are married for 6 years. 

This day in 2006 was so exciting. There wasn’t a doubt or fear in my heart. I walked down the aisle impatient for my hands to slip into Brad’s. This was right and it proves to continue to be more right year after year. When I brought Nathan in to say hello to Brad as he got out of the shower this morning, Brad said “happy anniversary honey. We leave for the Cayman Islands tomorrow”. I laughed. We are far from the humid lazy beach days of a newly-wed honeymoon, and in the midst of this marathon of child-rearing I think we both long for a newly-wed honeymoon. I know I do! But the two of us agree- we’re more happy together now than we were then. We comfortably love each other more. Were better friends. We’ve settled in to each other. When that happens it’s not all roses and sunsets. Now we know the intricacies of our personalities very well. There are hard times and moments of stress, moments when we wish the other person were different and we’re not looking at each other with love and gratitude, but rather annoyance and frustration. This is just life. This is reality. There is no “happily ever after”. There is no “we don’t have fights”, or “we don’t have hard days”.

But there is recovery, and we always recover. And year after year, because we are devoted to working on ourselves, we get through those days doing less harm to each other and finding compassion in the middle of the storm of frustration that swirls in our chests. We’re learning that it really isn’t about us as a unit, but more about he and I as individuals. It goes against what we know, to put our individuality first before our unit as a couple. I know when I am frustrated it is, disappointingly so, always about me, and my perspective. I’ve spent years trying to point the finger at him and make him the reason because I don’t want to look inside of me where it hurts, or where my pride has to take a back seat to my humility.  That’s a tough practice, but each time we do it, it gets easier to do next time.

All this learning and all this growing--with pains, and through pains, great triumph.

There is no one I was meant to do this marriage thing with more than Brad.

I knew that we wanted the same thing. We talked about it the first time we ever had dinner together, technically not even dating yet (though we held pinky’s that night on the couch, so maybe we were dating). We wanted to grow to be people we loved and believed in, who accepted life on life’s terms and stopped reacting to it. We wanted to have maturity, faith in the power of the universe, devotion, and stability. We didn’t use those words when we spoke, and we didn’t have much of those things when our relationship began, but we’re gaining it now and that makes life happier and easier, and it makes us more in love. The real kind of love,or at least the kind of love that works for us. There probably isn’t any “real” kind of love. Any kind of love has a purpose for good.

It’s wonderful to remember this day 6 years ago. It’s wonderful to feel full of gratitude for it and for Brad, even amidst the 5-month stretch of sleep deprivation and constant attention to our children’s needs.

I feel lucky. I wish this feeling for our children someday, but ever better!