.: June 2013

wow. when I look at Ava in this picture I see a big girl. It's confusing sometimes because when she is home running around naked (literally half the time) I look at her body and reflect on how she's still so little. She's both. It's bittersweet to watch my 1st born grow up. With Ava and her intense emotional energy I've spent a lot of her life wishing for her to grow up and out of the hysteric fits she has, but after 5 years, yes, it took me that long, I now realize this is just part of who she is. It's true there is an emotional regulator that gets turned on sometime between now and eight years old, and I see that happening for her. Would she ever throw a tantrum at school? Not on your life. She is an angel outside of this home. An angel. Just yesterday we had a play date with her friend Lola and I was in awe of her great attitude, her sharing and communicating. She's no doormat, she says what she needs, but she's generous and kind and giving. Why, you might ask, do I seem a little surprised? It's because she's maybe 20% like that with us at home. I don't always see that side of her. I know, and her teacher pointed out at every parent teacher conference when we would warily ask, "does she get along with others? Does she melt down when she make the slightest of mistakes? They would reassure us that Ava is a wonderful friend and is very mature. huh? Then her teachers would say "everyone needs a place to let it all go. Home is that place. She knows she's safe there." And that was just what I needed to hear and be reminded of.

Ava came down with the stomach flu on the eve of her Memory Walk to commence her time at Mariposa, so we missed it. We were all disappointed, more that I can express. "But Mommy, I want to go so you and Daddy can hold the candles and blow it out." Break my heart. They had spent weeks preparing for the ceremony. Her spirits were up a day later and I took her over to the school. The teachers were packing up the classrooms, but we did our best to create our own "memory walk". It ended up being a very nice way to say goodbye. It was personal and I did everything in my physical power not to cry. Ava wasn't crying. I didn't want to her think this is sad, but it was so hard.

Her teachers literally burst with joy when she walked in the room, told her how much they missed her the day before, gave her her certificate of completion and a chalkboard to practice her writing over the summer. They told her how much they loved having her in their class and then looked at me and said "if only all our students could be like Ava. She is so well-behaved, follows the rules and is very focused. A great student." Once again, I was struck biting the inside of my lip hoping the tears welling up in my eyes weren't getting obvious. It was really special that Ava got to hear that, first hand.

Boat loads of gratitude to these wonderful teachers!

Ms. Felina & Ms. Grishma.